How to be a Vampire by R. L. Stine tells of Andrew who believes in vampires and other monsters. He puts up with a lot of ridicule from his family and people around him. One morning he finds a mysterious book under his bed. It is ice cold to the touch. While he is trying to figure out if his best friend left it for him and how he made it stay so cold, a title slowly appears “How to be a Vampire”. He opens it and words appear on the first page, “How would you like to sleep all day? Then, at sunset, turn into a wolf. Or a rat. Or a red mist. Or maybe a bat. How would you like to fly? To pass through a closed door? Or a thick stone wall? Does all this sound too good to be true? It isn’t. All you have to do is become a vampire. How can you do this? One way is to be bitten by a vampire. The most popular place for this bite is on your neck. Once you are bitten, you are a vampire-in-training.” (Kindle Locations 149-152) When he goes to brush his teeth, he notices that his face is extremely pale and his lips are extremely red. He discovers two small wounds on his neck. On the bus to school, he confides in his friend, T. J.. T. J. is excited at the prospect of Andrew becoming a vampire and points out all the advantages of being a vampire.

At lunch time, Andrew finds he has an enormous appetite. He works his way through a huge lunch, but when he sops up the last of his spaghetti sauce with a piece of bread and eats it, his throat closes and he can’t breathe. He thinks he has been poisoned. After performing the Heimlich Maneuver, T. J. points out that the bread is in fact garlic bread.

That afternoon, T. J. continues listing the benefits to being a vampire. They are riding the school bus when it stops suddenly right as they are going on the bridge. The bus driver tries several things to get it to start again. T. J. pulls him off the bus and tells the driver they will be walking home. T. J. and Andrew watch the bus drive off, and then T. J. explains that vampires can’t cross running water. On the walk home, they are surrounded by dogs. Again T. J. has the explanation. Dogs know that vampires are their masters.

Once they get to Andrew’s house, he shows T. J. the ice-cold book. T. J. can’t see the writing, but Andrew sees new writing. There is now chapter two, warning about garlic, running water and dogs. Andrew realizes that the book is giving him the information he needed that day and wishes that it had given it to him that morning. T. J. tells him he needs to find a coffin and that he must sleep with some of his native earth. Andrew digs up some dirt in the backyard and goes to sleep in his closet.  When he wakes up, he checks the book again and receives the rules on sleeping—again too late. He realizes that he couldn’t go to school on the bus because of the bus crossing running water. He takes his bike and manages to get to school with super speed.  He is excited but when T. J. sees him, his skin is red and blotchy from the sunlight.

Andrew continues to develop vampire characteristics. Then a real vampire appears in his room. This is the vampire who bit him. He is a classic vampire in appearance. His hair is slicked back, he wears a cape, he has pale skin, red eyes and red lips. He is there to train Andrew to be a vampire. The first lesson is flying. He turns in to a bat. He enjoys the flying, but when he changes back into a human, he tells the vampire that he doesn’t want to be a vampire himself. He is repulsed by the thought of drinking blood, but he is beginning to feel the urge to hunt the small animals he can feel around him. He is horrified but takes comfort in his lack of fangs. The vampire leaves in disgust at his lack of progress towards becoming a vampire.

The next morning Andrew wakes up and discovers he has fangs. He calls T. J. in a panic to bring all his vampire books over and find a way to “unvampire” him. He also convinces his sister to help. They go through the books and discuss every bit of vampire lore they know. They develop a plan to lure the vampire into a trap. The vampire arrives back that night and Andrew lures him to the mansion in the cemetery as planned. The plan doesn’t work because the vampire hypnotizes T. J. so he can’t do his part. In the end, Andrew saves himself by tricking the vampire into going outside while he locks the door. The vampire dies in the sunlight. T. J., Andrew and his sister walk home in the sunlight.

This book has no illustrations. It is not the finest piece of literature, but it will find a lot of willing readers. R. L. Stine uses nearly every vampire trope ever invented. It is fairly high on the scary scale, but manages not to be so scary that a lot of readers will be turned off. This book has the added advantage of being part of a series. Children who like this book will be more likely to read others in the series, and develop a taste for reading.